HEALTH & MEDICINE :: FEBRUARY/MARCH 2007
Childhood Anxiety: More Prevalent than the Common Cold
We don’t usually think of our children as being stressed out or anxious, but of the children I see in schools and in their homes, over half are experiencing ongoing or situational anxiety nearly every day. Anxiety can come from a variety of factors: too many activities; high parent/ teacher expectations; inability to communicate feelings, wants or needs; fears and uncertainty about the future; and real or perceived social failures.
Parents do everything they can to ensure their children are involved in sports, dance, social and school activities. Schools also dish up a full day of demands which are frequently teacher and curriculum-driven, rarely taking into account the needs of the child. Aren’t we obligated to provide our children with ongoing experiences to make them well-rounded adults? At this point you may want to look around and survey the number of well-adjusted adults you know! The reality is that children frequently engage in these activities because they want to meet the expectations of the adults around them.
Many of the children that I see have an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Anxiety is very prevalent in this group of children and can become a learned response to any new or different experience. Typically, this starts because communication challenges have resulted in needs not getting met; the child then resorts to an inappropriate means of communication (hitting, biting, etc.) and then gets disciplined for inappropriate behavior. This anxiety producing pattern can follow a child into adulthood and make the introduction of any new skill a challenge. Similarly, children with poor social skills can’t reliably predict the responses they will get when they initiate a social contact, consequently, they may withdrawal and be seen as introverted.
Parents often ask me to evaluate their child’s behavior in school because a teacher is reporting academic problems. When I observe the child in the school context, I frequently see nothing that I would identify as an inappropriate behavior. In fact, I may see nothing but a quiet child minding her own business, attempting to meet the teacher’s expectations. Parents, on the other hand, may be reporting the same child with a variety of oppositional and defiant behaviors at home. Anxious children may be very quiet, almost invisible, in one environment and out of control in another. Home often represents a safe place to vent feelings and to seek control over others without being fearful of the results.
How can we help our children become less stressed out and capable of handling anxiety when it arises?
- What gets left out of many children’s schedules is down time. Down time can be time to do absolutely nothing. Imagine that! I would like some of that “do nothing time” in my own life. Some parents tell me that their child gets down time while playing computer games or watching TV. This is true for some children, but for others it can be an escaping activity or way of avoiding further demands.
- Talk to your child. Listen for clues about the stressors in their day, and help your child put them in a context that promotes a solution rather than just more complaining.
- Tell your children about some of the stressful events you experience so they see a little anxiety as normal. Do not overload your children with anxiety producing situations reserved for adults, such as spousal conflicts or financial issues.
- Children need friends, however, be cautious about confusing being a friend to your child with being a good parent. Good parents set limits, impose consequences, delegate chores, and make sure peer relationships are healthy. You can do all of this with a smile as long as the lines of communication are kept open.
- Supervise your child’s homework. Make sure the work is commensurate with your child’s grade level and ability. If homework takes an inordinate amount of time and your child is overwhelmed by demanding precision, can’t concentrate, tries to get out of doing the homework, or gets reduced to tears in the process, you need to schedule a meeting with his teacher immediately.
- Be aware of what video games your child plays and what TV they watch. Today’s visual media seems to dwell on dark themes of death and destruction. Limit all screen media to one hour a day if it must be watched at all. Children get far more benefit from doing activities that produce an end product, such as arts and crafts.
Remember, anxiety is a learned response to what is going on in your child’s life. New ways of addressing stressful events can be taught to you and your child. If the anxiety problem your child is experiencing seems too big for you to handle you should seek professional help immediately to keep anxiety from escalating to more serious behaviors.
The mission of Integrated Behavior Solutions is to provide effective behavioral health services to the special needs community in an ethical and affordable manner. We celebrate the dignity and possibilities of every life and make opportunities available for unique people to do unique things. Our professional staff provides assessment, treatment, education and training for families and schools. We use a variety of empirically-based treatment methods to address conditions such as autism spectrum disorders, anxiety, attention deficits, and developmental delays. Our clients range in age from 2 to 30 and live in southeastern Pennsylvania, northern Delaware and southern New Jersey. Our training programs for our older clients include life skills, preparation for community-based living, and vocational preparation and placement. Call (610) 636-6248 and speak with Dr. Bailey directly if you have a child with behavioral issues, Autism, or a child having difficulty making transitions into a life of self-determination.
Dr. Ron Bailey, Ed.D., BCBA, has a doctorate in developmental education and is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. In addition, he has an M.A. in clinical counseling and an M.Div. with a major in marriage and family therapy.
Dr. Bailey has extensive experience working in the demanding field of autism spectrum disorders, developmental disabilities, ADHD, conduct disorders and anxiety related disorders. For 30 years he has worked in home, school, community, residential and church settings while designing unique programs for varied client populations. Dr. Bailey designs training programs and conducts workshops for schools, universities, parent support groups, and professional environments.
In addition to his work with children and their families, Dr. Bailey has extensive experience working with adults with developmental challenges. He has provided behavioral consulting services for agencies in Philadelphia, Chester, Montgomery and Delaware counties and numerous school districts.
Here is what our clients say:
“Meeting Dr. Ron was an absolute turning point for my son. Concentrating on behavior techniques, clear instruction and positive supports rather than the medication approach, Dr. Ron has enabled my son to gradually overcome his anger issues, frustration and anxiety tendencies. My child is calmer, more respectful in his interactions with others, generally much happier, and much less focused on the negative or ‘darker’ issues which previously dominated his thought processes.” ~Joyce L., BSN
“My son, David, has Aspergers and NVLD. We were on our last nerve with
‘professionals’ that just didn’t get it. When Dr. Bailey entered
the picture we were skeptical to say the least. To our surprise, he did get
it and had vast experience to back up his recommendations. He has brought my
son to the place where school is a high priority, and he is an A student. Dr.
Bailey has collaborated with our school to secure an appropriate placement and
to ensure that staff are trained to meet David’s needs.”
~Relieved, Donna P.
